I have started many blog posts lately but haven't finished any of them. Most blog posts flow rather easily, but the past few tries have felt forced. There are quite a few topics I would like to address, but before I can I have to deal with the countdown clock.
Three weeks to go. Three precious weeks before I go back to work. I just hear this tick tock in my head and I hate it because I can't turn it off. I have truly enjoyed this time. Sure there have been moments where I thought of work fondly and wished to be whisked away, but overall, this time at home has been quite enjoyable. I've surprised myself with how much. Of course, I love my kids and being with them, but I'm one who gets antsy easily and needs a frequent change of scenery. I am normally not content to just be home, but I am right now. Guiltily, I can't say that was the case during my leave with Ella. Why is this time different? Maybe because I'm more relaxed as a mom, maybe because the weather is warmer and we're outside more, maybe because Ella's energy is contagious. Who knows. I just don't want this time to end.
Staying home is not an option, and it's not something that I desire long-term. I just want to hold on to this time more. I am going back. I hold the benefits. I have a good job with a respectable salary that my family depends on, and I miss the work, the challenges and most importantly adult camaraderie.
Three weeks is still three weeks, but I feel like I'm racing the clock because unfortunately for me, I am out of vacation time until next January. I hate thinking that the bulk of my quality time with my kids will be reserved for weekends and holidays.