Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Drop Offs

I hate Monday drop-offs. Yes, I realize today is Tuesday, but for me, it felt like a Monday. I don't enjoy turning my daughter over on a normal day. It's especially hard after spending three relaxing days with her. She doesn't seem to mind, but I hate it. Today, I had to do it twice, since I left her blanket in the car. I love to torture myself.

The emptiness hits hard once I crawl back in the car and my eyes glimpse into the back seat and see an empty spot where my once babbling (okay sometimes screaming) daughter was just a few seconds ago. My heart just falls like a heavy brick. I quickly call Mike for reassurance. He reminds me that Ella is in good hands and it's good for me to go to work. I know he's right. By time I'm settled in front of my computer, I am focused on my work, which helps the day go faster. I never forget about her. Impossible to do as I am surrounded by pictures of her.

Friday will again be here before we know it. We're looking forward to this weekend as we're spending it with Mike & Jen at their lake house. I can't wait to see what Ella thinks of the boat and the water. I'm sure she'll hate the infant life vest. If anything, it will be interesting with two infants, a toddler and two dogs.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My friend the kangroo

My friend the kangroo
Originally uploaded by mbowling.
It's 9:45. Mike is at a Royal's game and my precious daughter is asleep in her crib. Why am I on the computer? I should be in bed, in the shower or at least painting my toes. But here I am, typing away on the computer. I'm pathetic. Where's my to-do list? Maybe that will remind or motivate me to get off this thing.

The little lady is doing great and is such a happy baby. Her wide toothless smiles melt my crazy work day away. I felt gipped and disappointed the first few weeks at daycare. When I picked her up, I got nothing -- no smile, no sparkle in the eye. I wanted some sort of acknowledgment that I was mom and I was special. Well, late last week, my wish was granted. As I walked in to the room, she focused on me and broke out into a wide beaming smile. At that moment, man, life was good. Today, I heard her fussing as I walked into the center and as I wound my way back to her room, I knew she wasn't having her best afternoon. I entered her room, called out to her, caught her eye and her cries stopped and again that beautiful smile. Hands down, the best moment of my day.

The picture is her latest source of endless enjoyment. Grandma spoiled her with a jumperoo and man is that kid happy. The instance you place her in it and she makes eye contact with the orange kangaroo, she is all smiles. It's positively adorable.

I have a shower calling out to me and nail polish that desperately needs to go on my toes. I am so excited about having a three-day weekend with my two favorite people. It can't get here fast enough.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Shower Fun

Shower Fun
Originally uploaded by mbowling.
No time to recap our past week right now. It was crazy busy with Mike’s birthday party and Ella’s baptism. Definitely, a memorable and meaningful weekend especially since so many family and friends were with us. Monday rolled around too quickly giving us no time to recover from the weekend. Work offers no reprieve as our firm's annual report is due to the printer in a week, and as the token writer/proofreader on staff, I'm swamped.

Until I can do a longer post, enjoy this photo of Ella and daddy in the shower. Showers are so much easier than baths, and Ella actually seems to prefer shower time.

I could spend all my time away from her staring at her pictures, but work gets in the way. I feel so blessed to be her mom and to have such a supportive husband.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

There She Blows

Poop flies. Quite far and quite fast. I didn't know this until last night. I got a quick lesson in the speed of poop when it's propelled by some mighty potent gas. Ella's gas acts a turbo booster. Now if we could only harness this as an alternative to rising fuel costs.

It started as a typical diaper change after a bowel moment. She was content, her diaper was messy and stinky. I had a clean diaper positioned underneath the dirty one, and I was trying to work quickly. My left hand held her legs in the air. The right cleaned her up. I paused for one quick second to brush hair out of my face. I'm right handed, so naturally I used that hand. When in that second, Ella finished cleaning out her intestines and she let one fly. Oh my, what a site! And what a mess! Her uncles would have been so proud.

I let out a blood curdling scream. I had never seen runny BMs fly in front of my face. Her poop easily traveled four feet before landing on the diaper stack and dripping down to the carpet. She also coated everything in between -- picture frames, wipe box, toys, changing table, changing pad. My loud and shocked reaction didn't startle Ella -- she was completely content. Mike raced up to the stairs to find me still holding her legs in the air while laughing so hard I couldn't make a noise. It didn't take him long to surmise the situation. He was a little bewildered, but sprung into action cleaning everything.

What a memorable evening. It's one I'll never forget, but one I hope to never repeat. I even have photos of the poop-stained carpet, so I can tease Ella about this incident for years to come. Maybe now is the time to consider a shorter hairdo.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Sound the Alarm

Poor Ella, on her very first day at day care, they had a fire drill. Luckily, an alarm wasn't sounded, they just announce it over the speaker system in the day care. Can you imagine how quick a loud obnxious alarm would scare those kids?

Overall, Ella did great on her first day. I saw her at lunch and she was having fun. We get a report at the end of each day. It outlines when her diaper was checked, when and how much she ate, times when she napped, what skills she worked on and the other activities they did during the day. Outside of the fire drill, she went on a buggy ride, got an infant massage, did tummy time, played with bubbles and listened to kids' songs. She was wore out from her new daily routine that she was dead to the world around 10:30 last night.

I survived dropping her off. Mike went with me. I didn't break down, but my eyes welled with tears. We did the hand off relatively quickly for my sake and it seemed to work. My mom sent me flowers to brighten my day, which helped and was so thoughtful of her.

Today seems harder than yesterday. I was so focused on just getting through Monday, and once we did, I felt such relief. That was until the dread of dropping her off again hit. I realized we have to do this every day, and each day it will hurt. It will get easier or so they say. As Mike says, who exactly is "they?"

Friday, May 05, 2006

My First Day

I survived. Granted I only worked from 9 to 2:45, but I made it through and with no significant tears. I forgot what great people we have in our department. Not only did they greet me with kind words and warm smiles, and indulged me by listening to Ella stories, but they also had a bag of homemade cookies and an arrangement of flowers. How sweet of them.

Ella also had a good day. She was in good hands. Her thanks to Rene were three dirty diapers. Poor Rene! Payton also had a ball hanging out with Ella, and I heard was a big help. We'll find out Sunday as we're watching Payton for the first time sine Ella was born.

Monday will be harder, but its not today or tomorrow, so I can avoid thinking about it for now.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

One Day Left

Look ma my tongue
Originally uploaded by mbowling.
Tomorrow, or actually today, is my last day of maternity leave. I cannot believe it is coming to an end. It went too quickly. When she was born, May seemed an eternity away. Time is going by too quickly. What saddens me is I now only have weekends with my daughter and holidays until next year. That thought completely depresses me, yet makes me realize how precious that time is.

Our plan for today is to hang out at home and just enjoy each other. We've been busy running errands getting ready for next weekend when Mike turns 30 and Ella gets baptized. Today will be a much more relaxed day. We do plan to visit her day care again today. Yesterday's visit went fine. It was short. Her teachers both held her and interacted with her. Ella seemed comfortable in their care and I know she'll be well taken care of, but I doubt it will make next week any easier.

On to happier news, Ella did a partial roll yesterday. We were playing on the floor, and I stood up to grab a toy. She was squirming around and managed to get herself from her back to her stomach. She wasn't too happy once she got on her stomach because her arms were pinned underneath her. I was so amazed and proud of her.