Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Lost my chair position

I am trying not to take in personally. I am really trying. Yes, the but is coming. But my child refuses to let me rock her. Yes, she's growing up and I need to let go, and all that other parenting mumble jumble. I wish it was that simple. Understand though, it's not that she's giving up being rocked. No, that's not the case. If it was, I might be able to handle it better. The issue is she just refuses to let ME rock her. Daddy is the only one who can do it.

Oh sure, mom is good enough to read "Let's Go to the Zoo" and "Olivia" 10 million times in a row with Ella on my lap nonetheless. When the lights are shut off and her music is turned on, her only request is "Daddy rock." I beg, I plead, I demand. It gets me nowhere except I end up feeling like a 2-year old, rather a 2-year old with a broken heart. I thought maybe after a few nights she would be back to preferring me, but nope. Every night for what the last two weeks, no matter how I play the game, the end result is the same: "daddy rock."

Don't get me wrong I love that Mike and her have such a special bond. I just miss that quiet time with her in my arms. She's showcasing her independence more each day that even kisses and hugs are few and far in between, so I was relishing our quiet cuddle time, and now I don't even have that. I knew she would eventually push away from me. I just didn't expect it would be before her second birthday.

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