As a parent, you hate to see your child hurting, but it also sucks when your spouse is hurting and you feel like you can do nothing for him. The lovely Midwest weather is keeping us from the extended Bowling Christmas in Des Moines this weekend. Our sensible sides prevailed when debating whether to brave the drive or not. While we know we made the right decision, it doesn't make it any easier to digest it. We haven't seen most of this group for a year and we were looking forward to spending the day with them, eating delicious food and overindulging on grandma's cookies. Mike knows he has no control of the weather, but he's disappointed and I wish knew how to cheer him up. A peppermint mocha from Starbucks might be in his future.
Seeing him this down reminds me of the Christmas Day when Mike was in Wichita alone because he had to work and I was in Sioux City with my family. I remember talking to him and hearing the disappointment, hurt and lonelinesss in his voice, and realizing how I only wanted to be with him, and how guilty I felt that I was with my family and he wasn't. And how stupid I was for not being with him. For me, it was a big, hit me over the head moment, when I realized he was who I wanted to be with always, even if it meant not being with my family. Another confirmation for me that I was in the relationship for the long haul.
It was hard to enjoy myself knowing the guy I loved was alone. I remember entertaining the idea of driving to see him, but I was a good seven hours away. I'm sure there were reasons why I didn't go to Wichita. Looking back, I can't recall them. I'm sure Mike being the great guy he was and is, probably told me that one of us should at be with our family. While he would have appreciated the gesture, I ultimately would have been the person alone as he had to work that day.
All of this to say, my husband is a bit grumpy today and Ella and I hopefully will be able to make him smile. I think we plan to spend the day decorating the house.