Seven-months Sam

In the election excitement, I glazed over the fact that Sam is now 7 months. Seven months. It just doesn't seem possible.

So, what's new with Sam? Well, he is crawling. It is still just an army crawl but that boy can move. You don't dare turn away from him. As with Ella, Sam's biggest motivation is Yoshi. The minute he seems the white furry ball stroll by him, Sam's face breaks into a mischievous smile and his eyes narrow on the prize. No matter how fast Sam moves, he has yet to catch the cat. Heck, I think Ella is still trying to reach him.

Other fun facts about Sam:

• He has two sweet teeth on the bottom.
• He eats cherrios.
• He has a fondness for mango.
• And he has a special place in my heart.

While Sam has always made me feel special, lately I have wanted confirmation that I wasn't just a nice woman who kept his belly full and his diaper dry (because let's be honest that's how I have been feeling). I wanted confirmation of my revered role. I got that today. I strolled into Sam's room after unsuccessfully trying to round up Ella. He was lying on the mat with his back to me. I spoke up and said, "Hey Sammy, you ready to go?" The minute my voice hit his eardrums, the kid flipped over and he beamed his wide, warm, sweet smile. That smile, well, it stole my heart.

Listening

I tempted fate. Will I ever learn? I found myself uttering to friends and co-workers that I hadn't thought the "terrible twos" were all that bad. We have had a few tough moments with Ella, but nothing unmanageable. How I needed to keep my mouth shut (probably more often that I am willing to admit)!

The past few weeks Ella has been a volatile 2-year old with unbelievable strength. I have half-seriously joked that my child was missing because at times I didn't recognize her. The tears, the anger, the fits, the frustration. Separately, I can handle them but when they come pouring out of her at the exact same time, it is tough -- very tough. The worst times are mornings and at bedtime. I have never been a morning person, but bedtime previously had been a special bonding time for Ella and I. Lately, I have been dreading bedtime, absolutely dreading. Sadly, some nights I would find myself more willing to clean the house than battle with my child.

Tonight's meltdown was ugly. It was nasty. I had an indicator that a meltdown was coming when at daycare, Ella refused to cooperate in any manner as we attempted to leave the center. Officially though, tonight's fit started at the hair salon, continued through the drive home and ended at the house. During that time, she attempted to rip the necklace from my neck, clawed, hit, screamed and kicked. It is heart breaking to witness my child so upset and her refusal to accept any comfort. Fortunately, we managed to salvage the evening. It took some time but eventually deep belly laughs replaced fits of tears and frustrations. Again, I was worried if the emotions would switch back at bedtime.

For the most part, bedtime had been sailing along fairly easily, I was waiting with bated breath for the moment when it would immediately take a turn south. The primary instigator is almost always putting on her pjs. Tonight, the top went on without a struggle, but she was resisting changing her pants. After a few direct requests and battling my bubbling frustration, I asked Ella if she had her listening ears on. She indicated she didn't as she reached down to the ground, grabbed imaginary ears and hung them off her head. I then asked, "Now what did mommy say?" Without missing a beat, my child matter-of-factly answered, "Do you have your listening ears on?"

Levity filled the room and I could only laugh. Mike teased me, "Wow, you got burned." Oh yes, I did. And yes, bed time continued on without any tears.

Election

Goosebumps. Excitement. Historic. This night has been amazing, but I made the poor call and took a benadryl earlier in the evening. Drowsiness took over and I ended up dozing off repeatedly as results in rolled in, but I didn't missed the historic announcement. I am so proud of this country. Now I hope for unity and reconciliation as the country moves forward. For me, it is time for bed.

One final thought: How I have missed Tim Russert this evening!

Halloween Resurrected

The calender may say it is Nov, 3, but it certainly didn't appear to be anything other than Oct. 31 this evening in our cul-de-sac. If you had driven by our neighborhood, you would have seen two fireman, an Indian princess, a witch and a monkey roaming the street. Why? Our wonderful and kind neighbors decided to turn back the clock to happily hand out candy again and let us pretend for at least 45 minutes that tonight was actually Halloween.

Ella definitely had her share of the holiday, even more so in the candy department, but my lingering disappointment with the holiday was not how it transpired but that I did not witness Ella trick-or-treating. In a conversation with a fellow neighbor while I was stuck in a hospital waiting room, this idea of doing a delayed trick-or-treating was addressed. She had our entire cul-de-sac on board in, I imagine, a few short hours.

So tonight, the kids gathered together and eagerly tackled each house. (E had enough of Minnie Mouse that tonight she was a sweet witch.) Even though our trek only included eight houses, Ella managed to come home with a pumpkin full of candy. Hmmm....now I realize the real reason the neighbors were so willing to participate. :)

In all seriousness, it was an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture by our neighbors and a moment I will always treasure. Words cannot capture how special it was to watch my sweet girl enthusiastically running from one house to another as she tried to keep pace with the older kids. The energy, the fun and of course the candy! Halloween 2008 started off a little rough, but now I can happily close the door on this holiday.

My November Challenge

I decided to accept the NaBloPoMo challenge, which is to blog every day for one month. I know I am crazy, but I do love a challenge. Perhaps it is ill timing with how crazy our life is, but then maybe the insanity that is our life will give me plenty of material. I suspect some days the posts will be quite short like tonight and other days the words will flow more freely.

E alone can provide plenty of good content. In the span of a few seconds, she managed to utter some humorous gems this evening. As we were preparing to leaving the grandparent's house, Ella's boundless energy had her speaking in rapid, indiscernible nonsense. Remember Roger Rabbit, that was my girl tonight. Once her energy levels stabilized, she walked over to the front door, turned around and said, "Let's get out of here." Thank goodness her grandparents are so good natured. After all, they had spent the last 2 1/2 days spoiling her.

After that comment, I asked Ella if she remembered where she lived (we have been working on reciting our address). I so did not get the answer I expected. Instead Ella uttered, "daycare." While I chuckled, I did not find that comment as funny as the first. Love the working mom guilt.

More importantly, I love being back with my kids. It was a LONG weekend.

The Halloween that Wasn't

I want a Halloween do-over. How I wished I had sweet, adorable photos of share of my little girl and boy enjoying Halloween 2008. Instead of spending Friday night trick-or-treating with my Minnie and monkey, we spent Halloween evening surrounded by doctors and nurses. Unfortunately, those fine people weren't in costumes as my mom landed herself in the ICU late Thursday and has yet to be sprung free.

So Friday morning, we raced around preparing for an unexpected road trip. We decided to leave the kiddos in the paternal grandparents' capable hands rather than dragging them with us. We dropped them off at daycare, so they could enjoy trick-or-treating in the federal building and their Halloween party. As usually, we were running way late, and Ella's class had already started t-or-t by time we arrived, so I pulled the costume over her head and ran her up to the 14th floor. As E & I are riding on the elevator, I realized in the chaos that Mike didn't get the chance to say goodbye to his little girl. I found her classmates and teachers, kissed her goodbye and made the trek back to the center. Mike had Sam dressed by the time I entered his room. I snatched him up and snuggled him for a very brief moment before it was his turn to pose for the camera. We waved goodbye to him and decided to track E down, so Mike could give his girl the proper goodbye. We found them filling their bags on the 15th floor. Ella gave both mom and dad big bear hugs. Content with our goodbyes, we called for the elevator, stepped in and turned around to see E run in front of the door. With a big smile on her face, she waved goodbye and blew us sweet kisses. The door slowly closed and the emotion as well as the elevator sunk. Mike and I turned to each other to see tears welling in the other. My sweet baby girl had never looked cuter. I so was not prepared for that type of emotional goodbye.

After a quick, speedy drive and a long afternoon in the hospital, Mike and I found ourselves alone on Friday evening. In our search for a kid-free restaurant (just too tough to be around lil ghosts and goblins), an unexpected detour took us smack through a neighborhood packed with kids. It was like we jumped in the rabbit hole. We frantically searched for the exit. As we drove in circles (it seemed), the pit in my stomach and the lump in my throat just grew. Maybe I was being a too melodramatic, but it was Halloween (our family LOVES the holiday and it was Sammy's first one, so emotions were running high).

We finally made it to our destination and buried ourselves in the bar. After a few beers and games of trivia, we managed to turn our frowns upside down. In all, it wasn't the night we wanted, but we managed to salvage it and create some good memories. We heard our kids also had quite the evening with grandma. While it didn't go according to our plan, it will go down in the books as the way we celebrated Halloween 2008.

Halloween 2008

Halloween 2008
Originally uploaded by mbowling

In our house, the level of excitment over Halloween is definitely on par with Christmas. So much so, that the kids have the opportunity to wear their costumes no less than four times this year. At their ages, they don't NEED to trick-or-treat that many times, but c'mon nothing about Halloween is a need. Plus, our Minnie Mouse and monkey sure do look adorable.

We kicked off our Halloween festivities with our annual trek to "Boo at the Zoo. (Photos here). While it was a bit windy, the kids had a ball. Multiple trick-or-treating stands, a carousel ride, haunted pirate ship and a camel ride. We love Boo at the Zoo. It's a good reason to visit the animals and it gives the kids the opportunity to wear their costumes again. On Thursday, they will trick-or-treat at my work, and then on Friday they will go around the Federal Building before we hit the neighborhood. I can only imagine how much candy we will have!

Our little Minnie is so excited. She has the trick-or-treating part down, but we are still working on the whole waiting in line. Thinking that she takes after her mother!

My Happy Boy

My Happy Boy
Originally uploaded by mbowling

Let me start by saying, I HATE house painting. All right, I don't hate it. I am just ready to be done with it. The sad part is I am not the one doing the painting. Mike has lived the past four, I think, weekends on a ladder slaving away on this undertaking. I am starting to see a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

The house is looking quite good, but I want my husband back and I want some family time. I can't believe I am going to admit this, but I also would like time to clean my house. That is I want to clean my house without trying to entertain, feed and chase after two kids. Our house is a disaster and Mike and I are too tired at the end these long days to really care, so please no unannounced visits! While we would love to see our friends' sweet faces, I am willing to bet you wouldn't make it past the front door. It is a sad state of affairs and I have standards, not high ones, but standards nonetheless.

Enough about house painting! I came to the blog to write about sweet, sweet Sam. The boy is now 6 months. SIX MONTHS. Seriously, I have no idea how that happened. He is absolutely precious and so darn adorable. There is no general consensus on who he looks more like. Some neighbors say he looks just like Mike. A few comment that he looks more like his Uncle Scotty than his dad (ummm...okay). A few of my friends think he bears such a strong resemblance to his sister. Sam's doctor thinks he is a spitting image of me. As mom, I say he looks like Sam.

As for the boy, he is doing fabulous. He is a happy little man. He did wonderfully at his 6-month well visit. He weighed 18 lbs. 13 oz. He is long, but I can't remember his specific length. I remember he was in the 90 percentile for height and in the high 70s for weight. The doc was quite pleased with his progress and believes he is on track developmentally. I can't ask for anything more.

He endured his shots. E was a protective older sister. Once he started to cry after the first prick, she jumped down from the chair where she was reading a book and started caressing his belly. She tried to reassure him that it would be okay. Yet, this was the same girl that when asked about Sam by the pediatrician, she quietly answered, "he's good." It only took one more question before Ella blurted out, "He pulls my hair sometimes and it hurts." Such a sweet sister!

Sticking to the subject of Sam, he has one pearly white. It took FOREVER to pop through, but it is finally here and luckily without too much drama. The boy is so close to sitting up completely unassisted. He can manage for a few minutes before he tumbles over. He also is an inch worm and a mover. If laying on his back, the boy will dig in his heels and scoot away. It's too cute. His primary preferred method for moving is rolling in every direction. I give it a month before the child is mobile. He is already rocking on all fours. Too early for me son! We are in for some serious trouble!

While his general disposition is one of utter happiness, we did discover that Sam isn't so crazy about the bath tub. For convenience sake, Sam has taken a shower with dad ever since he had good head and neck control. We decided he needed some bath time exposure. The kid hated it. Listening to him shriek broke me heart. He screamed until I lifted him out of the tub. He must have a love of the water, so more baths are in his future. Sorry kid.

Overall, he is just positively adorable. That sweet smile melts me.

Silly Siblings

Silly Siblings
Originally uploaded by mbowling

I have been trying to take a picture that captures how much my crazy kids adore each other. I haven't quite yet, but this one comes close.

Life as usually is busy, so no time to blog. Mike is spending the weekend painting, and I have been playing with the kiddos. Payton is hanging out with us today, and after lunch, we are off to the pumpkin patch. It should be interesting as I will be completely outnumbered, but Payton and Ella have promised that they will stay together. Wish me luck.

House Painting

Beginning on the front of the house
Originally uploaded by mbowling

Not done yet with the house painting. When we stopped yesterday, three sides of the house had two quality base coats. We have yet to touch the trim and the back of the house is a mess. Some day soon this will be completed. While I was happy to take a break from painting and resume my work life, I cannot yet see light at the end of the tunnel. Mike plans to resume his role as a house painter this Saturday. I hope he is able to make some great strides while I am keeping the little ones entertained and out of his way.

During this experience, I attempted to tackle my severe fear of ladders. I did spend some quality time on a sturdy extension ladder, and I was quite pleased with myself for stepping out of my box (as Mike says). However, it was a 10-foot step ladder that gave me my first panic attack. I can't recall what prompted me to absolutely freak out, but I started shaking and severely sweating. I found myself frozen in fear. Luckily, my hubby was around to coax me down.

I have decided that much like being a waitress, this is a task that every homeowner should undertake at least once in their life. Once this is completed, I have no plans to ever do it again!

Racing Hot Couple

Racing Hot Couple
Originally uploaded by mbowling

Aren't we cute with our Fanview headsets and our big smiles? See we really had a good time. This picture was fairly early in the race and you can already start to tell I am starting to ROAST.

Money Pit

Has it really been over a week since I blogged? Goodness, so much life has transpired since last Friday. Where to start?

First, I experienced my first NASCAR race last Sunday. I never had any real desire to go. I never thought you would ever find me at a race. However, I am always up for new adventures. I surprised myself by how much fun I had and by how much junk and alcohol I consumed in one day. (I haven't started drinking that early in the day since maybe Homecoming in college). Let's add sun to the list of items I overindulged. I came home one fried lobster. While I enjoyed the race and the entire atmosphere, what I did enjoy the most was how absolutely giddy Mikey was to have me there. He was so cute all day exclaiming how happy he was that I came along with him. I loved making him that happy.

I'll let Mike blog more about the actual race. Since he may never do that, I'll give a brief synopsis: beautiful weather, tailgating, tasty burgers, lots of beer and junk food, loud and fast cars, no major wrecks but a last-ditch gutsy finish by Mike's favorite driver, the 99 car driven by Carl Edwards who left it all on on the track in his attempt to pass the leader on the final turn. Unfortunately, it did not pay off with first place but did give the crowd a spectacular finish. Enough of my shoddy attempt at a sports recap.

House painting has been the other major adventure for us this past week. Mike and I took a break from our jobs, but trust me it hasn't been much of a vacation. We decided to tackle painting the exterior of our house. Oh vey! It has been so much more of an undertaking that we ever realized it would be. However, I think it certainly is one of those life experiences everyone should have. I know once the house is completely painted, we will see our home not that house we purchased. While we have made great strides to change the interior of the house, this is the first extensive exterior project for the house.

We are taking the house from a dreary, drab grey to an earthy green. This transformation has been significantly slowed down by the massive amounts of wood rot, some unexpected. Yesterday, we made the decision to sacrifice a window which was beyond
saving. Eventually, this project will be completed. Reinforcements are hopefully arriving today. With Mike and his dad being consumed with wood rot repair, I have been the primary worker bee applying paint to the house. If it continues, we may never get this house done. Thinking positively.

Neither Mike or I can say enough about Larry's help. I am sure when we offered his assistance, he did not anticipate driving to this work site for 8 straight days and many weekend days prior to this week. We are definitely at a loss for how to express our appreciation. Mike joking offered to repay him with a third grandchild. Um, that didn't get cleared by me!

I know one way I can help is by ending this post and getting outside for another great day of painting.

She's Home

She made it. She's back. It feels so good. I missed her laughter, her energy and her smiles. She saved her biggest greeting for Sam. It was so sweet.

Mike and I both think she has grown and changed. Her vocab was always extensive, but it seems even more so.

I am off to soak her up some more before I turn into mean mom and make her take a nap.

Together with Madison & Bailey

Together with Madison & Bailey
Originally uploaded by mbowling

When I received this photo last night from my brother, I instantly got teary-eyed. I keep saying it, but I miss her! I am so happy that she is having a wonderful time. I am thrilled that she has not had a single meltdown about missing mommy, daddy or sammy. It just is so strange to me that my little one is so far away.

The week has been strange. I have to say I don't like this feeling of being lost or that someone is missing. I have loved giving Sam extra attention, and candidly it has been a nice break. Although, we haven't gotten out of the house any quicker in the morning nor have I accomplished all that I had hoped. We even reverted to some pre-child habits, as I had cereal for dinner. Ah, it was so easy and so quick!

In nearly 24 hours, my sweet girl will be back home. Momma is ready for that!

How many snaps does it take?

First, I miss my baby. I hear she is having a great time. Tonight, she got the chance to play with Bailey and Madison. The visit even included roasting marshmallows. I'm so jealous! I have the sweetest photo of the three of them, which I will try to post tomorrow.

Tonight, I'm sharing how many actual pictures I take in attempt to capture one good one. Below are a few from a series of pictures I took of my three favorite subjects. Personally, my favorite one is the third down. Ella has learned to roll her eyes as well as go cross-eyed. I suspect I will become all too familiar with the roll of the eyes as she gets older. I wish she hadn't learned it so soon.

Enjoy!

Whoa, what's this thing

Whoa, what's this thing
Originally uploaded by mbowling

Sammy, sammy, sam. My adorable little guy has the sweetest disposition and is usually full of the sweetest smiles. So what's up in his world? Well, he is now on veggies. The boy gets so excited once he sees the bowl of food. His little arms just start to flail. He has gobbled up a good variety of veggies and soon he will be moving to fruits.

The little man also made a new discovery in recent days. He found the pleasure of his hands. As you can tell from the picture, he loves to stare at his hand and wiggle his fingers. It's so adorable to watch him make that connection. I also noticed that more often than not it's his left hand that has him fascinated. I know, it's too early to determine hand preference, but secretly I know Mike is rooting for a lefty.

Words cannot accurately describe how wonderfully happy the little guy is and how much we are enjoying him. We are missing his sister. Instead of dwelling on the fact that she is not here, we are devoting extra time to loving on the little guy.

As for a report on E, she had a good day with grandma. I understand it was a day with no tears and lots of fun. She even accompanied grandma to the hair salon. Personally. I think my mom was crazy as to me it had disaster written all over it. Ella surprised me as she was fairly well behaved and cooperative. I'm glad she's having a good time, but we do miss her.

She Made It

Ella is safely at grandma's house. The trip took longer than expected as Ella needed numerous potty breaks, but they arrived eventually.

Departure time went fairly well. No tears on either end, but I did have to blink back a few tears. It helped that Sam needed a bottle and a nap, so really I didn't have time to dwell on her leaving.

Her itinerary is fairly packed during the next few days. I can't wait to hear about their adventures as she will be making a grand tour to visit numerous family and friends.

I will admit it is quite strange to be in the house without her energy and laughter. Rather than focus on what we are missing, we do plan to treasure this time with Sam and enjoy this little break. By Friday, I will be more than ready to have her back in my arms.

A Week Without the Parents

I am shipping my child away. Okay, that's a bit of an over dramatic statement, but there is some truth to it. On Sunday, if all goes well, we will load Ella up in my mom's car, kiss her goodbye and watch her drive way. I will then spend the next 5 days anxiously awaiting her return, when my oldest brother will chauffeur her from Sioux City to Kansas City.

My hope is to keep the plumbing shut off at least until she is out of sight. While I get choked up the instant I ponder the difficulty of saying goodbye, I know I need to focus on how much fun she is going to have and not how much I will miss her. I don't question if she'll have a good time. I know she will. I also know this is quality time that she and my mom will always treasure. I also know in the grand scheme that five days isn't that long. With Ella gone, it gives Mike and I a break and allows us to focus just on Sam. I know all these things, but I still can't believe I am sending my baby away.

I know it's the right decision as the scenario came together so easily. I learned of Ella's eligibility to take a week of vacation from daycare (Loving that I get a week off from paying!). My mom needed to burn through some vacation time and had no real plans for that time. She scheduled a visit and my brother made plans to come the very next weekend. Not only did we have care for Ella allowing her to take a vacation from day care, but also Ella could make the trip without Mike or I having to do any driving. The planning was the easy part. The real difficultly for me is knowing I am four hours away from my baby if she would need me.

So, please think of me on Sunday and throughout next week. I will survive and Ella will have so much fun that she won't have time to miss me.

Need Your Money

I have no shame. I need your money. Well, actually Ella and Sam's daycare needs your money as does the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I already sent an email to a core group, but I figure I might as well post it to the blog as well.

Corporate Kids is once again selling cookie dough. The funds raised will be used to purchase education materials for the classrooms. For those that have already purchased, THANK YOU! If you purchased in the past and want to purchase some again this year, please let me know. Again, it's a box of 48 pre-portioned chunks of cookie dough for $14 a box. Flavors include: classic chocolate chunk, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin, sugar delight, white chip macadamia nut, chocolate chip, double chocolate brownie, rainbow chocolate drop and snickerdoodle. The great thing about these cookies is you can decide how many you want to bake, so if you have a craving for a cookie and only want to bake a few, you don't have to whip up a whole batch and clean your kitchen. We sold this same line last year and they were mighty tasty!


We need to turn in order forms and money on Wednesday, Sept. 17. If you are interested, it would be much appreciated. Checks can be made payable to Corporate Kids.

If you aren't interested in buying cookies, Mike and I are raising funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light the Night walk. We've both fallen behind on fundraising. If you would like to donate to either of us, below are links to our individual pages. We always enjoy this family friendly walk and believe strongly in the cause. Recently, Mike's family was impacted by lymphoma, so this year it has a more personal significance.

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnShawne/2279_amac2221

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnShawne/2279_tvsmike

Thank you for your support!

Balance

Balance is the new word of my day, month, year and life -- at least for right now. I firmly believe that all moms, not just working moms, struggle with balance. I also believe the majority of us rarely achieve a regular, harmonious and continuous balance in our lives. Are there days when we (moms) feel like we are keeping our proverbial tray upright and steady? Of course. In those days, we feel strong, empowered and confident. Other days, we feel like we have two left hands, unable to meet any one's demands, needs or requests, much less our own. Right now, I feel like I am a clumsy waitress who is new on the job, and no matter how hard I try, I am failing miserably to satisfy anyone, and it's starting to exhaust me.

Some may say, if I didn't work, then I wouldn't have so much to balance. I disagree. I think while the plate of SAHMs may contain different items, all moms struggle with identity and the various roles we hold.

I love being a wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, coworker, and ME. I most certainly do not want to relinquish any of those roles, so I figure I need to give myself a pass or perhaps lower my standards, neither which is likely. (Let's also not forget the importance of putting yourself first once in awhile.) It's hard when I feel like I'm not doing anything well. Do my husband and children know how incredibly crazy I am about them? Do I do enough to show them how special they are to me? Am I too serious? Have I forgotten how to let loose and let go? Do my friends know how much I miss them? There are so many friends I need to reconnect and meet up to hear how life is for them. (Thank god for facebook, twitter and blogs, so I at least am given a glimpse in their lives.) Can I get the resources necessary at work, so I don't feel like I am set up to fail? As with all my lists, this one goes on and on....

I know. I know. I will never be able to proudly announce that my life's to-do list is completed because life is a journey and blah, blah, blah. I get it. I need to be easier on myself, but right now I feel like I am on the right train, wrong track. I am desperately trying to get back on the right track, which brings me back to balance. I have no answer to this struggle. I do take solace in the fact that so many friends, other parents and coworkers struggle with balance. So for now, I pledge to focus on the things and those that matter most and to be easier on myself (which in itself, is a balancing act).

On a more upbeat note, today was my birthday and various friends and family members certainly made me feel special and loved. So tonight, those warm feelings and my hubby will lull me to dream land.