Thoughts from the Seattle Space Needle

I'm typing this as we enjoy the sights from the top of the space needle (posting this though a day later). It's a beautiful view. Even with the cloudy skies and rain, I can see why people enjoy living here. Our first day was spent soaking up the sights and sounds of Seattle. We just walked around the city, mainly Pike's Market. It's been a good day, but it's been tough for me to transition from being a mom to being a tourist. I miss my little girl. At first, all I wanted to do was grab a cab and take the first flight back to KC. Everywhere I looked there were kids and families enjoying time together. I felt so empty and I found myself not appreciating my surroundings or the experience.

I finally convinced myself that I'm on vacation and I can spend the entire time wishing I was with Ella. Yet, it wouldn't be until I am back in KC that I would realize what an amazing opportunity I had missed and I would find myself regretting how I wasted this time. I also realized that I can miss her and yet enjoy this time without her. Having fun without her is not a knock against me as a mom or diminish the love I have her. While I realize to most that this is a no brainer, for me, it's taken a day to comprehend. I also don't want Mike thinking that our time alone isn't important.

The hourly reports we receive from the local Smithville authorities is that Ella is doing great and getting along just fine. I didn't have any doubts, and knowing how much fun she is having is helping us to enjoy the trip. Unfortunately the last image we saw as we walked away from her was a very upset little girl crying in the window. It's a hard image to erase from my mind.

We are off to hit the Pike Pub Brewery next to the market and then we plan to join Chera and her boyfriend Mike for a tasty dinner at Purple, a local wine bar.

Deanna Rose

Losing by a hair
Originally uploaded by mbowling.

I love Deanna Rose. It's a gem, and where we spent some quality family time today. It was created as a memorial to a fallen police officer. I think it's a great way to honor that officer, especially considering my personal history.

It's high on my list of suggested places for my mom to do with Ella. Brian and she will be watching her while Mike and I are in Seattle on a much needed RR&R trip (that's rest, relaxation and romance). We leave Tuesday -- Larry & Glenda have her until my mom comes down. I'm so excited to see Chera, my friend since college and Mike's since high school. I just can't believe I won't see Ella's gorgeous face every day.

Today, Ella didn't let her young age of 14 months prevent her from keeping up with the big kids. She may be small, but she's one determined kid. Sharing is one concept we don't understand, especially when it comes to the slide. We try, but I think it's a bit beyond her scope.

As for me, I'm still in pain. The drugs definitely help as long as I don't miss a dose. I definitely can sense when it's time for another pill. I don't need a clock to know. I am trying to take this in stride but honestly I feel like a decrepit woman. I hope after this trip I will feel like a rejuvenated woman and mom.

Shingles

I thought shingles was something that only struck old people. Well, I learned today that anyone who previously had chicken pox can get shingles, and that's what I have. I also learned it hurts. At least it explains the pain I am in. For most of this week, I have been experiencing some rather strong bouts of pain radiating from my mid-back to around the front. I chalked it up to sleeping wrong or pulling a muscle while working out. The pain though wasn't responding to ibuprofen and I had enough, so I made an appointment yesterday to visit the doc today. When I woke up this morning, I discovered a lovely rash on my back. The doctor took one look at the rash and knew. She said this was my body's way of saying, "I'm important. Pay attention to me and slow down"

While I would love to get 8 hours of sleep every night, workout 5 times a week, we talked my reality, not my dream world. She encouraged me to start small -- restart taking a daily multi-vitamin and try to go to bed at least a 1/2 hour earlier. We also discussed my current stress level. All she really had to offer was empathy, but she gave me something even better, some good painkillers. Although, I had to hold off taking them. A side-effect is drowsiness, so I didn't think as a responsible parent I should take them unless Ella was comfortably asleep in her crib. When she finally was, I popped two, which I had permission to do at night. I feel better but I was hoping for more of a relief. I hope that will come once I know Mike has safely landed and is back home. Thank goodness, he comes back tonight. With the way I've been feeling, I'm more than ready for another set of hands.

Back to Vegas Baby

I miss my husband. He is in Vegas attending the NAB show. I am so excited that he has this opportunity. He has always wanted to attend this show and from our many phone conversations, he truly is soaking up every moment. He'll be back late Wednesday night and I can't wait to see him. I just miss his presence.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter
Originally uploaded by mbowling.

Happy Easter! It's been a busy morning so far with church, a stop at Panera for a french toast bagel, car wash and an inside Easter egg hunt. And now we're off to a family dinner. I hope some time today to get a cherry limeade which I've been craving, but has been off limit since I gave up pop for lent.

Have a great day!

Wanted: A Chauffeur

I am done with driving. From the pictures, you can see why that needs no additional explaination. From the start, no one was hurt. That truly is what is important, but man, I am just frustrated and mad. How do I manage to be in the wrong place at the wrong time on so many occassions?! This is my second downtown accident in less than 2 years.

I was driving west bound on 18th Street. I was stopped at the light at McGee and was in the right lane. The light turned green I attempted to proceed through the intersection and rather than heading straight I was being pushed by a semi tractor trailer onto the sidewalk. He decided to make a right turn from the left lane with multiple cars sitting behind me in the right lane. Seriously, I know he needs the space, but can you notify the other drivers. As his boss said, who came down after the driver called in the accident, drivers are taught when making right turns to stay in the right lane and wait for the left lane to clear and then slightly move in the left lane to make the right-hand turn.

It was a very frustrating evening. It took police officers more than an hour to come to the scene. They were great once they arrived. The other driver was ticketed for making an illegal turn. I was blessed to have a very out spoken witness, who was more than my advocate. She also helped to keep the kids entertained. Oh, I failed to mention that Ella and Payton were in the car with me.

Neither one cried when we got hit. I screamed and once we came to a stop, I turned to make sure they were okay. They were rather wide eyed, but never made a peep. Luckily, we had plenty of snacks to entertain them for most of the wait. Having them around also helped keep the mood light.

The best quote about the evening again came from Payton. When Rene was picking her up from our house, Payton was telling Rene that we were in a car accident. Rene asked Payton if she was scared, and Payton promptly replied, "No mommy, I was just hungry." This is why I love kids.

Right now, we are in wait mode. Since this involved a commercial vehicle, our agent said this process would take longer than a wreck involving two individuals. I'm so frustrated. I love our Vue. It is a great car. It didn't deserve this. Now, I'm get to waste my time attempting to straighten out this mess. Why, why, why was I there right at that moment. UGH! I'm just so mad!